greenthing

My year has been one big “Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? ‘Cause I want to feel something else than this. It’s either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm”, figuratively speaking…and maybe not so figuratively, but whatever.

Maybe this is a new start for some people. Maybe this is a clean slate. But for me, it isn’t. It isn’t because it just can’t be. I won’t be “starting fresh”. I will be “mending”, and I am comfortable enough to say, “Hey. I don’t need a new start. I’m here and I’m kind of confused and my heart hurts a lot, but you know, I don’t want to start over.” Because I don’t. I just want to get my hair trimmed, start a new book, and figure out who the person I am today is before I start trying to adjust anything. 

I’m not trying to shit on anyone’s “NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE” parade. Sincerely. If that is what you want, then make it happen. Make it fucking happen and know that I’m over here with my bag of jalapeno chips cheering you on obnoxiously.