It’s weird how I like, plan my happiness, but never get around to it. I’m done planning. GOTS2STARTLIVING.
Anonymous asked: oh, but you see, jim WOULD be anon. he knew he loved pam the day he met her, but didn't make a move until casino night. so for now, think of me as seasons one and two jim. i'm not brave enough to ask you out or propose just yet.
I just want to surround myself with heathens and take pictures of the tomfoolery that occurred. Soon, my friends. Very, very, very soon.
Let me just-let me say something. There’s nothing wrong with knowing you’re great. Do not squander yourself on dickheads who “just don’t get it”. You are to be valued. All of the time. Every. Day. You’re precious. I mean, you’re not Precious-precious, but you’re precious. Drop those inane motherfuckers, and go forth to be appreciated...
My little sister: If you eat watermelon when you're pregnant, doesn't that mean it will come out a girl?
Me: ...yeah...if you're playing The Sims...
My little sister: ...oh. Yeah...
I don’t know what’s worse. Walking away from something, or forcing yourself to stick around. What I do know is, vodka is the sweet delight in my mouth tonight. Look at that…I rhymed!
Anonymous asked: honest to god, i have a serious fucking crush on you.
can i please be the jim to your pam?
can i please be the jim to your pam?
yanimo asked: <3 x infinity.
yanimo: Hot air balloon boy that was, in fact, hiding in an attic.
thisbitch: so in germany we have an evil santa claus called Krampus. my mom told me about him when we would try to find our presents and this is exactly how i imagined him. My best friend is German, which means she’s got all kinds of fucked up lineage. When Santa brings a fucking demon to the party, shit needs to be sorted. She keeps me on my toes.
When Heath Ledger died, I was a senior and the oldest kid on the bus home. Do you fully understand how it feels to be an 18 year old on a bus full of fifteen year old pricks? Do you fully understand how it feels to be an 18 year old on a bus full of fifteen year old pricks and reading a text that said “OMG HEATH LEDGER IS DEAD”?? Yeah… The last time I remember crying that hard...
I don’t know how I feel about a lot of things, but I do know that I feel very strongly about: -Classic & Peanut M&M’s -50 Cent losing 60 pounds -Dina Lohan’s twitter -The fact that my cousin is in a Lady Gaga “Alejandro” spoof video, and he’s probably going to be famous in a matter of days -Scented tampons
I just sent Laura a semi-detailed message about the things that were going on in my head moments prior to losing my virginity. That is what happens when you’re my friend, you guys.
I have this bug bite on my leg and I can’t stop scratching it. It hurts when I do, but it’s like, a relieving hurt and in the midst of my frantic scratching, I realized that I was relating love to a bug bite, and how sometimes, it hurts and it’s there and you can see it, and all you want to do is rub it…just once…just to make yourself feel better, because it feels...
Anonymous asked: wtf are you even doing with your life?
Things that need to be said:
- When an acquaintance pops up in my immediate presence and starts discussing things along the lines of farts and poop, I’m taken aback and immediately uncomfortable. Like, farts and poop don’t phase me. Let’s talk about it, you know? But, I mean, only if we’re friends. Only if I can openly make a period joke with you. Only if I can call you an asshole, and you know...
Bloc Party - Like Eating Glass
Thoroughly disheartened, and by that I mean I could really go for a McDonald’s run with my best friend and late night pool feet dippage, because eating french fries with my feet in some water and crying really fucking loud while my best friend tells me to shut the fuck up and pass the hot mustard sounds perfect.