May 2010
April 2010
Things that need to be said:
- It’s devastating when you stumble upon the Facebook of someone who was relatively good looking in high school and see that they have taken a drastic turn for the worse over the course of being graduated. And then you think back to all the moments you had envisioned having awesome sex with them, and then you realize how great it is you didn’t because of how heinous they are now, and...
When I see a homely looking person, I immediately hesitate to walk past them. Like, I have these irrational fears that their clammy body will somehow brush up against me, or they smell like wet cardboard, and judging by the distance between myself and that person, and the distance it would take for me to pass them without breathing in their smell, well, I can only hold my breath for so long.
And...
I can't not be happy when I get off the phone with...
I literally felt myself growing up the other day. I came across something that usually would make me sad, but then I felt a sort of creeping sensation overwhelm me. I wasn’t sad anymore. I was angry. And it was beautiful.
It was a confirmation of sorts. Like, “Ashley, you’re going down the right path. Sure, you’ve made some pit stops along the way, but ultimately, you know...
“The problem is, you dudes treat the one that you lovin’ with the same...”
– Jay-Z
thisbitch:
I’m freaking out. the whites of my eyes are turning yellow. YELLOW?!! wtf. W.T.F.
and of course my aunt is a nurse so I’m a borderline hypochondriac. i think i have jaundice. or hep c. fuck. fuck fuck fuck whatever it is it means my liver is failing and i have even warmed up for a lifetime of alcoholic trainwreck-ism.
well. at least i have disneyland tomorrow….so i can save the make...
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Can I just say that, as a 20 year old young lady, I cannot and will not take another 20 year old young lady coming at me, all up in my face like she “knows” something when clearly, we are in the same boat. I can accept a 40 year old woman talking down to me, or even a 30 year old woman. But I draw the line when your...
Went and looked at an apartment today wearing yoga pants, because it was just too much of a hassle to put on jeans.
Had a sucker in my mouth, wandered into the bathroom to grab a hair tie. Went to grab the sucker from my mouth (too much saliva collecting), fumbled the sucker around, and watched as it fell to the ground and wrapped itself up in the shag bathroom rug.
I feel like losing my sucker...
“There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who...”
– Ogden Nash.
Blap. Blap.
Things that need to be said:
- One of my biggest pet peeves is people who take my laundry out of the dryer before it is completely dry. Reached into my laundry basket today, pulled out a pair of damp jeans. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
- My sleep pattern is so tragically skewed that my body doesn’t know which way is up. That didn’t even make sense. That’s how fucked up I am.
- How about everyone stops...
“Ashley, would you know mold if you saw it?”
– My 13 year old brother then proceeded to tell me how he was “worried for his health”. And for the record, there was no mold.
“I should have known the jig was up when I heard him dry heaving after too much...”
– Ashley Green, top 3 applicant for future mother of my unborn children. (via jonnybravo)
BE STILL, MY BEATING HEART.
kristinamarie asked: My husband and I have fallen in love with your ~boobs~ Those things deserve their own award or some kind... or a whole holiday dedicated to them (or, even better, two holidays - so each gets their own!) We were scrolling through my dashboard and he literally was like, "STOP STOP STOP, WHO IS THAT?!" Haha, then we had a moment of silence in their honor. :P
“One can know a man from his laugh, and if you like a man’s laugh before...”
– Fyodor Dostoevsky
nineties-nickelodeon:
Awwww here it goes….
...
Oh great.
In order to accommodate the 20+ followers Boobquake ‘10 blessed me with, I’m going to have to continually post awesome cleave shots.
My life is so hard.
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FML. This is it, huh? This is where Tumblr becomes “the next big thing”.
I’m so…sad.
If Hillary Clinton were my mom, I'd TOTALLY have...
(via piscesinpurple)
You get me.
Anonymous asked: i clicked on your noodz and it took me to a canceled formspring acct. im upset.
I must say.. after watching Heathers..
adaisy:
Ashley Green makes so much more sense to me now.
Laura is officially one of the only people who understands me.
sweetoldetc asked: If you don't have a baby, I think the world would be truly upset.
I found out last night that “I don’t do enough to make people like me”.
As much as I wanted to take this piece of criticism seriously, I just-I can’t.
So I lol’d and went on my way. Not being a suck ass is a far greater thing than being a total suck ass.
